So, yesterday afternoon in the midst of pulling things out of the shed left, right, and centre, sorting all that stuff that we have accumulated over the years I wandered down the driveway for about the millionth time and casually glanced across the back yard at the kids play equipment, at the garden that we have altered to make our own and all of a sudden it hit me....... Oh holy crap!!! What the hell are we doing????
Suddenly I didn't seem so excited about this adventure, now I was absolutely crapping my pants and thinking we must be completely insane, which incidentally is what most other people are thinking!! Should we really be doing this? Is selling our house, pulling our kids out of school, quitting a well paying job really a good thing to be doing? This isn't what people do, this is crazy.
I continued my saunter into the realms of the man shed and greeted my husband with tears in my eyes. "Whats up?" he said to me, "I'm just having a moment." I replied. "Are you having second thoughts?" he asked tentatively. "No, I'm just having a moment. This is just so huge, it's kind of overwhelming." I replied. Jokingly he put his arms around me, gave me a squeeze and said "well you're not backing out on me, no way, we are doing this, even if I have to drag you." I laughed and walked away, moment over and all was good. Back to the sorting and packing.
Until this morning....... I spoke with my Dad today. We haven't really talked about this plan since we first mentioned it. I think he was still hoping it was all just talk and we wouldn't really go through with it. He told me he is not at all happy about this hair brained idea of ours. That it isn't fair to the kids to keep pulling them along to new places, that we need to keep some sort of security (ie a house), that we might not find it so easy to get work along the way. "What if it doesn't work?" he said, "then we come back and rent a house" I told him. Owning a house is not the be all and end all of life, is it?
My conversation left me feeling very confused again. I very much respect my Dad's opinion but on this matter our opinions are very, very different. What if he is right, what if this is the worst thing we could possibly be doing? Ohhhhh, now I didn't know what to do or think, so I rang hubby (herein known as R) to seek some reassurance. I told him about my conversation with my Dad, and again he asked me if I was having second thoughts, only this time I had to say I don't know, I might be. To which he replied "well I still want to do it, this is a great opportunity, and I don't want any regrets later thinking that we SHOULD have done it."
He is right of course. I do want to do this, I do want to travel and see Australia, I do want to spend some fantastic time with my husband and children, I do want to jump off the merry-go-round and take back our lives and if looking and moving outside the square is how we do that then yes, LETS DO IT!!! Just because this is not the normal or conventional thing to do does not mean it is not a good idea, it does not mean it wont work, it does not mean we are insane. We are just living OUR lives the way WE want to live them. And after all, if it doesn't work, if we decide that we don't want to live on the road any more we can come back, this isn't a forever decision it's a now decision. Live for today because tomorrow may never come.
I'm standing on the cliff edge, I'm winding up to jump, I just need to build up a little more courarage before I can leap........
Suddenly I didn't seem so excited about this adventure, now I was absolutely crapping my pants and thinking we must be completely insane, which incidentally is what most other people are thinking!! Should we really be doing this? Is selling our house, pulling our kids out of school, quitting a well paying job really a good thing to be doing? This isn't what people do, this is crazy.
I continued my saunter into the realms of the man shed and greeted my husband with tears in my eyes. "Whats up?" he said to me, "I'm just having a moment." I replied. "Are you having second thoughts?" he asked tentatively. "No, I'm just having a moment. This is just so huge, it's kind of overwhelming." I replied. Jokingly he put his arms around me, gave me a squeeze and said "well you're not backing out on me, no way, we are doing this, even if I have to drag you." I laughed and walked away, moment over and all was good. Back to the sorting and packing.
Until this morning....... I spoke with my Dad today. We haven't really talked about this plan since we first mentioned it. I think he was still hoping it was all just talk and we wouldn't really go through with it. He told me he is not at all happy about this hair brained idea of ours. That it isn't fair to the kids to keep pulling them along to new places, that we need to keep some sort of security (ie a house), that we might not find it so easy to get work along the way. "What if it doesn't work?" he said, "then we come back and rent a house" I told him. Owning a house is not the be all and end all of life, is it?
My conversation left me feeling very confused again. I very much respect my Dad's opinion but on this matter our opinions are very, very different. What if he is right, what if this is the worst thing we could possibly be doing? Ohhhhh, now I didn't know what to do or think, so I rang hubby (herein known as R) to seek some reassurance. I told him about my conversation with my Dad, and again he asked me if I was having second thoughts, only this time I had to say I don't know, I might be. To which he replied "well I still want to do it, this is a great opportunity, and I don't want any regrets later thinking that we SHOULD have done it."
He is right of course. I do want to do this, I do want to travel and see Australia, I do want to spend some fantastic time with my husband and children, I do want to jump off the merry-go-round and take back our lives and if looking and moving outside the square is how we do that then yes, LETS DO IT!!! Just because this is not the normal or conventional thing to do does not mean it is not a good idea, it does not mean it wont work, it does not mean we are insane. We are just living OUR lives the way WE want to live them. And after all, if it doesn't work, if we decide that we don't want to live on the road any more we can come back, this isn't a forever decision it's a now decision. Live for today because tomorrow may never come.
I'm standing on the cliff edge, I'm winding up to jump, I just need to build up a little more courarage before I can leap........
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